The Mask you live in

There is a proverb that goes ‘ You have three faces; the first face you show to the world, the second face you show to your close friends and your family, and the third face you never show anyone. It is this one that is the truest reflection of who you are’. This particular saying is attributed to the Japanese people, and I believe is it is an accurate statement of the individual. It is also quite sad that we feel the need to wear these masks. That said, I believe some people do learn to love themselves enough to feel that they can show their true face to the world and be proud of the person they are. Why can’t we just be the person we are? Why do we need to hide our true selves? To answer this is not necessarily easy as there are multiple impacting factors at work here.

The reason why we have these different masks that we wear is because we are afraid of how society will judge us and our true character. This in itself is sad because originality and uniqueness should be celebrated and not condemned. Sometimes it seems that certain people who have reached a certain status in this life can really only show their true selves and not be judges for it.

Well let’s analyse this proverb. The first face is the one that we show to the world… it is the mask that is socially accepted and that we present to the world. It is the one we wear on a daily basis which we wear when we interact with colleagues at work etcetera. Why do we wear this mask? As mentioned, this face we wear is socially accepted, we will not be judged when wearing this mask because we are just like everyone else. When everyone is the same, and there is no one standing out in the crowd, there are no stand outs and no one is a target.

The second mask is the one we wear when we are around friends and family. We are loved and accepted amongst these people, they know us and love us for the person we are… warts and all! Our eccentricities and uniqueness are embraced and celebrated. We are much more comfortable in these surroundings to be our true selves and be the unique and beautiful person that we are. We can let our guard down here and relax a bit.  

I think the third mask that it is said we wear is a bit of a grey area. I think some people might wear it and others don’t. This comes down to our individual personality. Are we an introvert or an extrovert? If you are an introvert, you might hide certain traits of your true nature, and they might only come out to shine in private (this is a real shame because nobody gets to see how unique you really are!), and even your friends and family might only get the barest of glimpses of your true personality. When it comes to extroversion, this socially outgoing person might just wear the one mask – the one of their true self- because they cannot be bothered with the smoke and mirrors of this silly game! They say accept me for who I am and if you don’t like it, bad luck! This is an awesome way to be, and it is such a liberating way to live. I applaud these people and their forthright attitude to life! 

These three masks that we wear, or more to the point, the shedding of these three masks that lead to our essential being, can all be related directly to our ego. The reason I say this is because we care about how we are seen by others, and we just want to be accepted and loved. Unfortunately in our minds, we think that society at large will not accept the uniqueness of our personality. Why is this? We have all been conditioned in some way as we have grown up, by our parents or by certain institutions… and all of these have told us how we should act in life. Certain things are accepted and others are not. As a result we have learnt to hide aspects of our being so that we are liked on a large scale. This is a very sad state of affairs when we are not loved for the person we are. It is things like this that remind me of tall poppy syndrome where people are ‘cut down to size’ for daring to be more than they can be.

The tides are changing and people are awakening to the shift in consciousness that allows them to be better than what they think they can be. Individualism is accepted and celebrated. The masks can be taken off and thrown to the sky. So,be who you want to be and let your freak flag fly!

Yours in health,

Ben J

The Breath.

The act of breathing… it is so simple, yet so profound. Breathing comes naturally to us…it really is second nature… yet it is this most simple of acts that sustains our life and is an absolutely essential act. If we were to stop breathing for a few minutes, we would die. It is said that at the one minute mark, brain cells start dying. Yes, this number does differ between individuals… there are the Russian ‘supermen’ who can of course stay under water for much longer periods, but for us mere mortals… we need to work with what we have!

The breath is more than an apparatus that keeps us alive, it is also a barometer to measure our own state of mind. When our breath is uncontrolled and fast, the mind is racing and erratic; you could even say it is in a state of chaos. But when the breath is controlled, even and is slowed down, so is the mind.  The mind follows the breath…so where the breath goes, the mind will follow. This truth has been realised by many people throughout history, and has been employed with great success. Yogis over the past two and a half millennia have used the act of controlled breathing to calm the mind. This practice is called pranayama and is the practice of controlling the breath. Our breath is the source of our prana; or our life source. There are many methods to practice pranayama, and each method has a different result. Some are for energising the body, some are for calming the body and mind and some are used specifically for meditation. The word pranayama is made up of two Sanskrit words which are prana meaning life force and ayama which means control. So pranayama means ‘to control our breath’ or to control our life force. So, when practising pranayama, we can control the pranic energy in our bodies and can achieve a healthy body and mind. In the yoga sutras written by Patanjali, he spoke of the importance of pranayama as a means of attaining higher states of awareness, and said that the act of pranayama is as important as achieving Samadhi (highest state of consciousness).  Because of this, pranayama is often practiced before meditation because it puts the mind in a state that is conducive to calm and stillness.

For our purposes here, living in the fast-paced western world where anxieties and frustrations are common in this driven society, pranayama can play a part in allowing us to achieve a much needed state of calm and peace. It doesn’t take long to practice, it can take as little as ten minutes. In fact, many practices of pranayama are only that long. To practice it, sit down, cross-legged if you want, otherwise any way is fine, and breathe. A simple method to follow is breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds and breathe out for 4 seconds. When breathing out, it is important not just to exhale strongly, but to employ what is known as the ‘ujjayi’ breath. This particular technique -which is common in hatha yoga practice- is a controlled exhale where the throat is slightly constricted to elongate the exhale. When people become more adept at this practice, these times become longer, and this is because the diaphragm expands and allows for a larger intake of breath. When we breathe in, it is important not just to breathe in and raise the ribs, but to breathe into the stomach. This allows for a ‘fuller’ breath that is also more comfortable in this process.

The science of pranayama is quite involved and there are many different techniques, so it is important to follow particular methods under the guidance of a qualified yoga or pranayama teacher. This is advised because pranayama is about the movement of energy in the body, and according to some, if this is done incorrectly energy flow can be disrupted and disharmony in the body can ensue. On the contrary though, innumerable benefits can be reaped from this simple practice. Although all we need to know here is that a calm breath leads to a calm mind. Practice slowed and controlled breathing, and your monkey mind will become a lot calmer and peaceful.  If you need to bring some peace into your life, or are looking to deepen your meditative practice, give it a go and see what benefits you find.

Happy breathing!

Ben J

References

https://www.yogapoint.com/info/pranayama.htm