The myth of the ideal and the effect of words on our happiness

Many of us seek perfection in ourselves, and we look for it in the type of person we are and what we do in our lives. We compare ourselves to others, and if we think we don’t compare to them, we feel we are a failure. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’. This statement is so relevant to all of us.

 We naturally hold ourselves to a high standard, and this is fair enough because we want to do well in what we choose to do, but as it turns out, high standards can be hard to reach and not always maintained. When we cannot always reach our own expectations and fall short of them we can be hard on ourselves and engage in negative self-talk. You know… ‘you are not good enough’, ‘you can’t even reach your own expectations’, ‘why do you even try…’ etcetera. All this negative self- talk which we engage in can take a toll on us. We think that what we are saying are just fleeting words that come out of our mouths, but they are recorded within us on a subconscious level and we hold onto this. Some say that this negative self-talk is actually recorded in us on a cellular level and can lead to sickness and ill health. So with this in mind, we can see that a positive view of ourselves and the world is necessary for our health! When we repeat this process regularly it can grow from a few words of negative self-talk to self-loathing. It can be a slippery slope. So although from the outside we look like well-functioning individuals, our psyche is fragmented.

In his book ‘The Biology of Belief’, Dr Bruce Lipton explains that if we interpret things in a positive way, we can begin living healthier and better quality lives, and it is this interpretation of events that sends new messages to the cells in our body and can actually reprogram them and change their cellular structure, thereby turning diseased cells into healthy cells. It sounds amazing and almost unbelievable, but the evidence is there. Similarly, there is a really interesting study which was conducted by Dr. Masaru Emoto in the mid-1990’s and observed the effects of words, sounds or affirmations on frozen water. The premise behind the study was that emotional energies or vibrations could change the physical structure of the frozen water. At the end of the study, Dr. Emoto made the claim that the frozen water exposed to positive speech and thoughts would produce visually pleasing ice crystals, while negative intent would produce ‘ugly’ crystal formations. 

From this we can realise that any negative self-talk or negative thoughts can have a detrimental effect on us and our well-being. None of us are perfect, and we are all works in progress, and are subject to our own human frailty. But we all need to know that we are more than what we think we are. We are a part of something much bigger than the here and now. This physical world we all reside in is our current place of residency, and while we are here, we just need to observe and learn the lesson…whatever that may be. The ultimate lesson being to find happiness within ourselves.

Look for the lesson.